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A wicket too far – any resemblance to Hollywood dramatizations of classic British war operations is purely coincidental. The following is based on real life events.

It was dark (ish), overcast and bitterly cold, but something had to be done. Under ominous circumstances the 1st Welford paratroop began their assault to take the Arnhem bridge head and thus end the league by 6 months. It was to be the largest cricket orientated airborne assault in history, pads and all. At approximately 1:10 (1:12 by Pauls watch) operation market garden/ Welford assault on Peppard began. 

While Ruislip Victoria's league season avoided the volcanic ash and safely took-off over the May Day Bank Holiday skies, the friendly sides are still waiting in the hangars with all games so far being victim of the erupting volcano (aka the weather).

Field Marshall Krunic took his 1st XI squadron for an away sortee and took to the skies to start their Divsion 1 BCL campaign over Emmbrook & Bearwood. After a sticky start and some early casualties (10-3), a great partnership between fighter-ace Prashant (97) & Wing-commander Puneet (76) meant that Ilija's pilots navigated their way to 259/7 in the alloted 45 overs. In reply, E&B boys felt the force of a new three-wave attack with "veteran" Carl (3-15) and new Top Guns, Shahid (4-50) & Ravi (3-34) doing the damage in bowling out the oppo for 160 to claim a maximum 35pt win.

Jim's first game leading the 2s was to defend the home skies around Greenford against Welford Park's Magnificant 7 and had to be aware as there a wounded pilot trying to make a maiden umpiring flight. On a day when a game was in doubt, a delayed start and the match switched to the top square, the opposition pulled a sneaky manoeuvre and offered to bowl first and take to the field with only 7. Faced with a barrage of a drying wicket, lush outfield, accurate bowling and inspired fielding which made scoring difficult, Jim's boys still soared their way to 199-4 from the 45 overs. This was built around Bill "B-52" Bailey flying throughout for 81no with a few howitzers being hit from Fu (including 2 sixes) & JJ.

After an improved re-fuelling stop (warm scones anyone, what what!!), despite the lack of numbers, WP started off with nothing to lose with 14 coming off the first over. The heavy scoring continued mainly by "Red Baron" Westbrook but when Shiv's radar homed in on the other opener's stumps, the RVs scored their first hit. With the threat of spin "twins" ChrisG (a welcome return to operations!) and SimonD (2 wickets) slowing the run-rate, WP were 139-3 (effectively for 7) in the 26th over with everything still to play for. However, straight after the 3rd wicket was taken the heavens opened. It was wisely agreed to abandon operations and both sides had to be happy with their work for the day - due to WPs higher run rate, their 7 men claimed 20pts while Jim had to be happy with 10 but at least the dogfight was not lost!

Unfortunately the rain that came (from Spain?) on Saturday night put pay to any rivalries on Sunday (even a planned rendezvous at Lords was aborted) and even flooded our new Monday host's ground so no play would have been possible. This left us grounded with nothing more to do than twiddle our thumbs and polish the propellers.

I'm sure our luck and the weather will improve soon so have a great Star Wars day - May the Fourth be with you!!

Roger & Out!
Andrew [AKA the maiden umpire]

A village, North West of Newbury is periodically raided by cricketers led by many different captains during the summer months.

Desperate, the village team travel to a nearby town (Newbury) to buy bats to defend themselves. They approach a veteran batsman, Slothy (Andrew Barr). He tells them bats alone will not do them any good; they will need pads as well! They ask him to lead them, but Slothy rejects them, telling them a single man is not enough. They keep at him though, and he eventually gives in. He recruits men, though the pay is a pittance (normally a jug of beer if someone takes a few wickets or scores a few runs)....

The first league game of the season saw Crown Wood 1st XI host last years runners up, Mortimer West End 1st XI in the BCL Premier division. The new season saw a change at the helm for Crown Wood as John Cartledge took over the reins, ushering in new beginnings for the team, with the half the side under 20 years old.

Stoke Row Vs. Emmbrook & Bearwood

Date: 18th July, 2009.

Venue: Newlands Lane, Stoke Row.

Toss: Emmbrook & Bearwood won the toss and elected to field.

Result: Stoke Row won by 183 runs.

Pitch: Remarkably placid despite the overnight rain – a very ‘dead’ track that offered little to the bowlers. Many thanks to Peppard’s Martin Evans for the use of both his time and mower after Row’s packed up on the Tuesday.

Weather: As with the preceding week, a real mixture – sun, rain, heat, wind.

Highlights: A Stoke Row record opening stand of 269 between Nick Howell (134*) and Will Macdonald (118*). Howell’s hat trick, allied to Sam Boughton’s (2-13) and Dion Sampson’s (2-32). The blinding one-handed catches by Darren Clark and Sampson. The chanting of Barbershop Quartet Dicky Lunnon, Marcus Lunnon, Josh Browne and Noddy Holder – ‘Give Paddy a bowl’ was perhaps the finest of the songs.

Catering: The single greatest tea I have eaten in 15 years of playing cricket. Stoke Row have something of a reputation for producing top class teas (Marcus Lunnon, Sue Boughton, Sam Fletcher, Pat Ashton etc.), but Suzanne Armstrong’s debut effort boggled the mind. EIGHT different sandwich fillings (including Bacon and Egg, Sausage, Tuna and Sweetcorn, Ham and Mustard) were supplemented by chicken nuggets with a tray of four different sauces (hoy, sweet and sour, BBQ and tomato ketchup). A mix of fruit (including the biggest strawberries this correspondent has ever seen), home made sausage rolls (quite beautiful), and even a TIRAMISU (also a carrot cake and lemon slices – with bowls and spoons!) made this offering inspired. It honestly could have satisfied two games. Unreal, and worthy of a ‘ten out of five’ on the mark card.

Mortimer West End Vs. BCL Select XI

Date: 12th July, 2009.

Venue: Mortimer West End Cricket Club.

Toss: Mortimer West End won the toss and elected to field.

Result: BCL Select XI won by 21 runs.

Pitch: Slightly two-paced in the first twenty overs due to the overnight rain but played perfectly true after that initial anomaly.
Weather: A real mixture – sun, rain, heat, wind. Picturesque rainbows appeared to present a colourful backdrop to a fine fixture.

Highlights: Will Macdonald (66 from 84) and James Wheeler (62 from 52) batted marvellously for the Select XI. Jamie Stead (35) and Tom Mackenzie (87) were supreme for MWE. Nick Howell (3-27) and Sam Boughton (2-35) did the damage for the Select. Titch Vickers imperious keeping display was ‘Foster-esque’. Select manager Rich Ashton’s 1 handed take at long-on from an Andy Johnson 6 is also worthy of mention, despite being a complete fluke!

Catering: Incredible. 1st things 1st – wherever the sausage rolls came from, I implore all Premier Division sides to go to this shop. They were AMAZING. Tremendous array of sandwiches, pizza, fruit etc. as well. The BBQ afterwards was phenomenal as well – magnificent beef burgers as well as excellent hot dogs ensured nobody left with any hunger.

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